The Vomit Patrol
by Crazy Queen 101
Summary: Okay. So the G-Boys are all grown up and they lose their jobs....and they end up on Vomit Patrol. R&R pleez!
1. The Crazy Introduction

Vomit Patrol (based on a true life story)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. I wish I did though! * tear * Besides, why would I write fics?  
  
Chapter 1 The Intro  
  
Duo: * farts while dying his mohawk red, yellow and green *  
  
Trowa: Oh man! I can't take the case! YUUUYYY!! Where is the Pepto Bismol!  
Where's the Gas-X? Where's the Maalox Max? Where's the Epsom Salts?  
  
Heero: Duo ate the Epsom Salts..And threw them up...but the other stuff is in the medicine cabinet...  
  
Trowa: I'm not gonna go in there! Duo is in there! It should have so many stenches in there that it should take 50 years to get out!  
  
Heero: I'll go! Please JUST SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPP!!  
  
Duo: * singing * I'm a Barbie girl, too sexy for my shirt!! * farts *  
  
Heero: +.+ Could you do that elsewhere?  
  
Duo: My 3 colour mohawk is complete!  
  
Heero: You sure'll go far as a racecar driver!! * slaps Duo hard on his back *  
  
Duo: * coughs up three dye tubes * So that's where they went!  
  
Heero: Idiot.  
  
Relena: HHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR * takes a deep breath * RRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!  
  
Heero: My wife calls!! * grabs Trowa's medicine *  
  
Duo: Bye! * farts * ^.^;;  
  
Relena: Gross!  
  
Duo: I know you are but what am I? :P  
  
Relena: Sick, in that twisted world of yours.. Heero: Yes, Relena, darling?  
  
Relena: The twins are bored!  
  
Bob: Yeah!  
  
Davey: Uh- huh!  
  
Heero: Okay girls! You'll go to camp for 4 weeks!  
  
Girls: Okay! * packs their stuff * We're ready!!  
  
* door opens *  
  
Wufei: Hair loss stinks! * takes off toupee *  
  
Duo: WUUUUUFFFFFEEEEEIIIII!!!!  
  
Wufei: What? I'm a very busy man!  
  
Duo: What's so hard in being a magazine owner?  
  
Wufei: ...Or racing skinny cars?  
  
Trowa: Or being a doctor?  
  
Heero: Or a lawyer???  
  
Quatre: I'm HOOOOMMMMEEEE!!!!  
  
Duo: * farts * I...HAVE...TO...GO..NOW!!!!  
  
Twins: Can we go now daddy???  
  
Heero: REEEELLLLLEEEEENNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!  
  
Relena: Hmm?  
  
Heero: The twins are ready!  
  
Relena: Okay! * drives off *  
  
Heero: Let's watch the news.  
  
Reporter: And on the Sanc Kingdom highway, there was a freak accident with some strange woman who's dead now and if that wasn't enough, she plunges to her doom in the water below.  
  
Heero: Oh no!!! I think that's Relena!  
  
Trowa: * muttering * Yippee!  
  
Reporter: And this just in. Twin girls are found in the red car and are now being adopted by these crazy people with lots of dogs. And now to Catherine Peacecraft for the * TV clicks off *  
  
Heero: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO * takes deep breath * OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
Duo: This is what you get for hitting me! HI-YA!!!  
  
Heero: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!  
  
Quatre: Baka!  
  
This is my first fic with the G-boys.. Oh and the actual vomit is in chapter 2. Read and review!!  
  
Ja ne. ^.~ 


	2. Fired! Or are they?

Fired.or are they???  
  
(At a big executive building )  
  
Duo: * lots of flatulence *  
  
Voice: Do that outside! Anyway, you former G-Boys have been called for one sole purpose * dramatic pause * YOU'RE FIRED!!! * starts laughing maniacally *  
  
All: WHAT???  
  
Voice: Let me reveal myself! * fanfare by invisible clowns * I am Kookakachura Chantilly!  
  
Trowa: Why are we fired? Out of this huge firm?  
  
Heero: * mutters * When since a race car driver is a part of a firm?  
  
Duo: * pulls a razor out of a bag * Be free little mohawk! * shaves it off *  
  
Kookakachura: Ooooookkkaaaaayyyy. the good news is that the firm pitied you and decided to give you three other job options to choose from. Let me warn you. It's nothing like your other jobs.  
  
Trowa: Why am I not surprised?  
  
Duo: * farts * Well what are the jobs?  
  
Kookakachura: A horse stable cleaner.  
  
Duo: Even I have enough sense not to do that!  
  
All: Doubt it.  
  
Kookakachura: Vomit patrol.  
  
All: Okay then.  
  
Kookakachura: And finally.  
  
Heero: It gets worse? Oh man!  
  
Kookakachura: Lingerie maker for the obese and severely underweight.  
  
Trowa: That's not that bad.  
  
Kookakachura: You have to fit them!  
  
All: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!  
  
Duo: I take Vomit Patrol. Shningkle shningkles.  
  
All: * unenthusiastically * yeah, yeah right. Us too.  
  
Heero: So what's the job description?  
  
Kookakachura: Walk around the world.  
  
Trowa: Nooo.  
  
Kookakachura: Let me finish. cleaning up vomit from all walks of life and bring these buckets * opens 5 green, barf smelling curtains * to main headquarters. You empty the vomit into 5 separate rooms.one for each of you .  
  
Trowa: You had this well planned out. It's like you knew.  
  
Heero: If she did, it's too late now. What's our pay?  
  
Kookakachura: The person who gets the most vomit gets $5 extra. And the total pay is $10 a gallon.  
  
All: WHATTTTT???  
  
Kookakachura: You get more for the other jobs.  
  
Quatre: Mean. Mean! That's not funny!  
  
Wufei: You should talk. Mean!  
  
Invisible clown 1: Well if you don't want the jobs march yourself to the unemployment office and GET ANOTHER JOB!!  
  
Invisible clown 2: Yeah, just look at us!  
  
Trowa: +.+ My point exactly. Heero: -.- ouch * shivers * unemployment.  
  
Quatre: ^^;;;  
  
Wufei: * tries to knock some sense into the invisible clowns with his toupee *  
  
Duo: Stinky fart butt ATTACK!!! * nothing happens * Oooops. I need spicy Mexican food.otherwise, my ammo is zero.^^;;;  
  
Trowa: *_*  
  
Quatre: O.O  
  
Wufei: O_o  
  
Heero: Yup, that was my confirmation that Duo Maxwell is the biggest idiot alive.  
  
Kookakachura: Well?  
  
Heero: I guess we have to.  
  
Kookakachura: Okay. You start here on Monday. Then I'll tell you guys all the crap- filled tasks that have to do with the ever-gross VOMIT!!  
  
All except Quatre: *shivers *  
  
Quatre: Bakas. 


	3. The Beginning of the end of a really sho...

Chapter 3- The beginning of the end of a reaaaalllly short chapter.  
  
Okay. First thanks a heap for the reviews.  
  
Rabid Bunny: Thanks for the review and the suggestion! ( IT'S GROSS ^^;;;) but I like it!  
  
Ferocity: I'll just thank you 2moro. Nigel: YA MAN MADAFOCA!  
  
Disclaimer: Well, I don't own Gundam Wing, and never watched it either! =P.  
  
But I do own Vomit Patrol. And the only Kookakachura!  
  
Duo: I finally REMEMBERED!  
  
Trowa: To?  
  
Duo: To take my fart medication!  
  
Trowa: ???  
  
Duo: Heero told me to!  
  
Trowa: ....  
  
LATER.  
  
Duo: ? I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy to be a BARBIE! ?  
Okay! I'm tired of singing and dancing! What to do now?  
Now it's time for. Maboobs. and his trusty side kick.  
Thunder Dick!! * hums a fanfare *  
Booooooo- riiiiing! Time to go to bed!  
  
MONDAY  
  
Heero: WHY ME! Why me!  
  
Duo: Vomit Patrol! Vomit Patrol!  
  
Quatre: You're excited?  
  
Duo: Glug, glug glug on chocolate milk! Chaka laka bing chang!  
  
Trowa: ?.?  
  
Quatre: I'm very embarrassed. ?.?  
  
Heero: +.+ This is not right. One man CANNOT be so dumb.  
  
Wufei: ?.? I'm in my happy place!  
  
Trowa: Duo, do you need to use the bathroom?  
  
Duo: * makes constipated noise * NOPE! Uh-uh.  
  
Heero: Here begins the third worst day of my life!  
  
Trowa: When was the first and second?  
  
Heero: When I met you all.  
  
All:. Hey!!!  
  
Heero: And when Relena died.  
  
Trowa: That was the best day for me!  
  
Heero: WHAT?!!!  
  
Trowa: ^^;;; Ooops.  
  
AT THE BIG EXEC BUILDING  
  
Duo: * humming the F-U-N song (Spongebob) *  
  
Wufei: Where does that come in?  
  
Duo: * intellectually * Well, if we are going on patrol for something as trivial as vomit , where do you expect to find the source of enjoyment in that monstrosity of a job?  
  
Wufei: Don't fight him. it may make you look smart..  
  
5 minutes Later  
  
Kookakachura: Welcome to the VH!  
  
Duo: What?  
  
Kookakachura: Vomit headquarters! Okay. Here are your vomit detectors  
  
Heero: Anything else? Kookakachura: Nope! See YA! * runs out *  
  
Trowa: Okay. Let's do this!  
  
LATER.  
  
Duo: How much did ya get? I got 4 whole gallons! It tasted good too! (thank you rabid bunny)  
  
Wufei: 8!  
  
Heero: 8.  
  
Quatre: ;) I got 10 gallons!  
  
Trowa: 18!!!Ha ha ha  
  
Later, Later  
  
Heero: *screams* It was all a stinkin' dream!  
  
Trowa: Heero: Wake up! Get your vomit bucket! We're starting early today!  
  
Heero: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!  
  
THE END.or is it.  
  
Crazy Queen 101: Hope you liked it! It's my first official fic  
  
Oh.. and I am begging thr site for reviews!  
  
Thanx.  
  
CQ101 ^.~ 


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